Join us via Zoom 
Monday, December 13, 2021, at 6:00pm central time for another edition of the EmpowerSurvivors program, Conversations With Elizabeth. 

This week we have survivor and author Tanisha Bankston who will be sharing her story of childhood sexual abuse with us and her new book " My Pain Is My Power". 

Tanisha's Bio: 
My name is Tanisha Bankston. I am a mother of 3 children. I am a survivor of rape, incest, childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and domestic violence. I lived 27 years in silence. I broke silence on July 3, 2020, when I was given the opportunity to speak on the NAASCA radio talk show. I then realized I had rediscovered my inner voice that had been trapped for 27 years. I spoke out when I was 5 years old but I wasn't believed. The trauma caused me to go into a shell and never come out until last year. I am healed, delivered, and set free. I wrote and self-published my book "My Pain is My Power" on May 21, 2021. My book is about my life story. I am praying for others to come forward and to break their silence by reading my book and that it be an inspiration.
I want others to know that there is hope and to never give up.

Cost: Donation to PayPal
https://www.paypal.com/biz/fund?id=MRU3VP4L3KSFU

Register in advance for this meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZYvc-mqrTosGNUlAetA_6uHylmrarnexWzM 

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Find out more about the EmpowerSurvivors nonprofit:
​ https://www.empowersurvivors.net/

Shari Botwin, LCSW, has been counseling survivors in recovery from all types of trauma in her Cherry Hill, New Jersey private practice for over twenty-four years. Her second book, “ Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing, Rowman & Littlefield,” (Rowman & Littlefield, November 8, 2019) deals with overcoming trauma including physical and sexual abuse, war-related injury, loss due to tragedy or illness, and natural disasters. Real stories and practical tools shed light on how to let go of shame, guilt, anger, and despair after a traumatic experience. An updated paperback of Thriving After Trauma will be released in early October.

She has conducted Keynote presentations for Monte Nido, International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals, Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Organization, Hofstra University, and Bay Path University. Shari has given expert commentary on breaking stories related to trauma (Covid-19) on a variety of international media outlets; including, NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning NBC News Now with Dr. John Torres, NBC Stay Tuned, ABC News, CBS News, MSNBC Live, CTV News, CP-24 News, CNN, Sports Illustrated, Prevention Magazine, The New York Times, Parade Magazine, Parents Magazine, Newsbreak, Greatist, The Associated Press, Philadelphia Magazine and Radio Europe.

Shari has also published feature articles in Thrive Global, Medium, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and The Toronto Star. She has dedicated her life’s work to helping survivors after living through years of childhood abuse and multiple traumas in her early adulthood.

Author for Rowman and Littlefield Publishers 
Title: "Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing."
Audiobook: available on audible.

This Monday for Conversation with Elizabeth, our special guest Mary Lynn Hinde. She will be opening the conversation with her personal story: A mental journey with Dissociative Identity Disorder. To participate, register in advance here. In case you cannot participate to the live program, subscribe to the youtube Chanel to be notify when the episode of this Monday evening will be published. You can also subscribe to the newsletter, to receive the weekly programs on the welcome page.
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Here is more about Mary Lynn Hinde in her own words. We hope to see you on Monday!

Join us October, Monday 25th at 6pm CT for "Conversation with Elizabeth"  with our special guest Kelly Wilson talking about Emotional Dysregulation: Spotting Triggers. Register here to participate. If you cannot attend the live meeting subscribe to EmpowerSurvivors podcast here and get notified when the recording of this program will be published! Available on youtube, google podcast, amazon music and IHeart Radio

About 
Kelly Wilson is a mom, award-winning author, comedian, speaker, and trauma recovery coach who educates inspires, and helps people explore their journeys of hope and healing out of complex trauma, specializing in PTSD recovery. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Kelly writes and speaks about finding hope in the process of recovery. Through both stand-up and improv comedy, she brings laughter to audiences of all ages using a wide range of subject matter, including silly songs, parenting stories, and jokes and anecdotes revolving around mental health issues.

​Books
Kelly Wilson is the author of Caskets From Costco, a finalist in the 18th annual Foreword Reviews’ INDIEFAB Book of the Year Awards, a finalist in the 10th annual National Indie Excellence Book Awards, and has also been chosen as a finalist in the 2016 Readers’ Favorite International Book Award Contest. She has also written and published numerous articles, poems, and short stories for children and adults in a wide range of publications, including Huffington Post and Sweatpants & Coffee.

Podcast
Kelly is the co-founder of two organizations: PTSD Parent and Mental Health at the Mic. The PTSD Parent Podcast is a fun podcast about serious stuff that explores what it’s like to have PTSD and navigating the important relationships that make life worthwhile. With Mental Health at the Mic, Kelly performs and teaches people whose lives have been touched with mental illness how to write and perform stand-up comedy. Find out more about Kelly at MapYourHealing.com.

       A very big THANK YOU to these amazing ladies and Healing Within Acupuncture & Wellness Studio!

This week I walked out to my mailbox to find a true gift.
As a nonprofit leader, you are continually thinking of two things, the mission you have for the organization and how you will financially support the mission and those you serve.
Covid has hit nonprofits especially hard. Many nonprofits and for-profit businesses alike have suffered deeply during this pandemic and charitable donations have been hard to come by.

I was reminded of the goodness of people this week when I was going through mail, tossing ads, looking at bills, and then found a card from Healing Within Acupuncture which is located right here in Stillwater, MN.
Healing within has been a huge supporter of our nonprofit, EmpowerSurvivors, since 2015. They have offered free services to those we serve, meditation classes, friendship, support, and more!. This week, they again showed their kindness, generosity, and support by donating $475.00 to our nonprofit. Money that is much needed and will enable us to continue offering hope, love, and support to victims of childhood sexual abuse and their families.
This money was not asked for. It was simply given by two women and businesses leaders, Aimee Van Ostrand and Liz Stoeckmann of Healing within Acupuncture. Both these ladies approached me asking if they could hold a 4 - week Irest meditation class that would benefit those affected by PTSD, mental health issues, first responders, and general community members. Not only were we benefiting from their generosity but so was the community as a whole.

In this day and age with the world seeming as though it has gone mad, it warms my heart to know that we have good people out there. People can be beacons of light and life to communities and these two women are just that. These women and Healing Within Acupuncture truly care about those around them and those struggling with physical, mental, and spiritual illness.

Thank you, Healing Within Acupuncture, Aimee, and Liz for helping us continue our important mission here at EmpowerSurvivors. Your support means the world to us and you continually show me what human kindness really looks like in a world that too many times looks the other way. Thank you for supporting survivors of child abuse and rape, for seeing them, hearing them, and aiding them on their journeys.

Learn more about Healing Within Acupuncture and EmpowerSurvivors:
https://www.healingwithinacupuncture.com/.../stillwater.../
https://www.empowersurvivors.net/
Like Us on Facebook!
https://www.facebook.com/healingwithinacupuncture
https://www.facebook.com/EmpowerSurvivors/?ref=pages_you_manage

​Join us next week on Monday, October 18th 2021 at 6pm (Central Time) for our Live conversation with Pete Singer on Spiritual Impact of Abuse. Register here.

This is COLLABORATION!

Since 2015, Healing Within Studio and EmpowerSurvivors have collaborated on a number of projects. EmpowerSurvivors is a local non-profit peer-led support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Collaboration is an effective tool for reaching more of those in need in our community. It also allows for developing programs that better meet very specific needs. Plus we truly enjoy working with each other.
Building Emotional Resilience led by Liz Stoeckmann is our latest collaborative effort. Liz developed this series as a community service project and is volunteering 100% of her time and energy.

Building Emotional Resilience:
A 4-week iRest Meditation Series
Tuesdays, October 12th to November 9th
6:30 - 7:45 pm CT, online via Zoom
Liz Stoeckmann, certified iRest Meditation instructor
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This much-needed class is open to all. No previous yoga or meditation experience needed. Those living with chronic stress and anxiety are encouraged to attend. Class is beneficial for survivors, veterans, front line responders, and healthcare workers. Sliding fee. Pay as you are able. Proceeds go to EmpowerSurvivors.
Please share with those who may need this info.
Register for the series here:
https://hw-acupuncture.square.site/.../yoga-and.../27...
Photo by Kendra:
Elizabeth Sullivan (EmpowerSurvivors), Aimee Van Ostrand, LAc, and Liz Stoeckmann at our Stillwater studio.

Choosing to disclose, or share, a history of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) is a completely individual decision. While some forms of treatment or healing may involve disclosing the trauma to move forward, this may not be the most beneficial option depending on each survivor’s personality or history. Some individuals may want to share what has happened to them, while others may never choose to tell anyone for the rest of their life. Sometimes, the decision not to disclose a history of abuse may be due to a previous attempt to disclose that did not go as planned. For example, some survivors may have tried to tell someone when they were a child or when they were experiencing the abuse and may have been ignored or not believed. This may cause feelings of fear or a lack of desire to try to open up again.
Many survivors will never disclose the abuseIt has been estimated that nearly 20% of all survivors of childhood sexual abuse will never disclose the abuse, and roughly 60% will not disclose the abuse until at least five years after the first incident.1 Whatever the reason may be for not disclosing an abuse, each individual’s story is their own to tell. However, much they want to share is completely up to them, as well as when, or if, they disclose this information to their friends, family, or partners.


Although this decision and situation can be handled a variety of ways, there are a few things to consider that may help an individual make the decision to disclose a history of abuse, and ideas to make the process as positive and healthy as it can be. These include, but are not limited to:

• Determining your level of trust with the person you are looking to talk to and considering how supportive they are of you.
• Determining what you hope to gain from disclosing your history. Are you looking for support? Are you looking for relief? Consider if the person you’re disclosing to can help you achieve these goals.
• Consider disclosing only when you are in a safe environment without many distractions, and when everyone involved is in a sound state of mind (for example, only when everyone involved is sober).
• Considering if the other person has had a history of abuse or trauma, and how it may affect the way they receive your story.
• Give your partner, friend, or family member space to process what you are telling them. Although the story you tell is yours to share, and you are in control of the conversation, your loved one may need time to process and best choose their words or actions to support you.
• Tell the individual you’re disclosing to what you need from them. If you want them to help you seek treatment, tell them that. If you’re just looking for someone to listen and not ask questions, tell them that as well.
• If there is someone else who knows about your history that you trust and who supports you, consider telling them that you’re planning to disclose to someone else. This way, if anything goes unexpectedly, you have a source of support ready if you need. Even if there’s no one else who knows what you’ve been through, just letting a trusted individual know that there’s something important going on in your life and that you may need a no-questions-asked friend in the near future may be helpful.2

References

1. Tener D and Murphy SB. Adult disclosure of child sexual abuse: A literature review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. 4 June 2014; 16(4), 391-400.
2. Should I Tell My Partner? 1in6.org. https://1in6.org/get-information/common-questions/should-i-tell-my-partner Accessed December 27, 2017.

In relation to trauma, a trigger is something that calls to mind a previous traumatic situation and may provoke a flashback of the event. Therapists suggest that triggers can vary person to person, and are dependent on an individual’s personal, and often private, experiences. It may be hard to predict what may be a trigger for you or a loved one, however, the more attention you pay to identifying triggers, the easier it may become to predict, control, or manage their effects.
Types of triggersTriggers can be divided into different categories, including those based on our senses.  Common categories of triggers may include:

• Sound triggers: Such as sounds of anger, sounds similar to those made by an abuser, or sounds related to the incident of abuse, such as a song that was playing at the time.
• Visual triggers: Seeing someone who looks like the abuser, seeing or being in a location that looks like where the trauma occurred, or an incidence of violence or abuse on a television program.
• Smell triggers: Smells that remind an individual of their abuser or the location of an abuse, including smelling alcohol, tobacco, or an abuser’s perfume or cologne.
• Taste triggers: Tastes that are reminiscent of an abuser such as a food they used to eat, a certain alcohol, or any food that may have been eaten around the time of the abuse.
• Touch triggers: An individual may feel triggered when a certain part of their body is touched, or if someone is physically too close to them.

Since triggers are so personal, they can be broken down into any different kind of category and can include virtually anything. Sometimes triggers can be specific emotions or changes in role, such as becoming a parent. There are no silly or nonsensical triggers, nor a limit to how many or how few triggers an individual may be sensitive to.


Managing TriggersThere are various approaches to managing triggers. Although everyone’s triggers may be different, there are common tips that can be used to deal with them in a healthy manner. These include, but are not limited to:

• Practice “grounding” by reminding yourself that you are in the present and are no longer in the traumatic situation. Concentrating on your current breathing, focusing on your immediate surroundings, touching a concrete or comforting item around you, or doing a mental math problem are all ways to ground yourself.
• Engage in positive self-talk by reminding yourself of all you have accomplished and why you are happy to be you. Reminding yourself that the abuse was not your fault and that you’re in control of your life may help you conquer a current trigger.
• Enlist the help of a family member, trusted friend, therapist, or counselor. This can be helpful if a trigger becomes too big to handle on your own, or if you just want extra support.
• Track your triggers. Keeping a mental list, or physical list, of triggers that have caused you distress, and finding ways to take control or avoid them in the future may help you identify a potential trigger later on.
• Find a positive distraction or activity to engage in to get your mind off of the trigger.
• If you feel comfortable sharing, let others know that you may struggle with certain triggers. For example, letting medical professionals know you’re uncomfortable with touch or physical contact.
• Seek immediate help if necessary. Contact a therapist or call a helpline, such as the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) hotline at 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673) at any time if you are in crisis.