When You Are Going Through Hell- Survivors of Abuse

                                                       If You Are Going Through Hell, Keep Going- Winston Churchill
As survivors, we have known darkness, betrayal, lies, injustice, and cruelty, and may have encountered the devil himself.
As survivors, we may have struggled with triggers, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, depersonalization, dissociation, nightmares, anxiety, mental health issues, physical issues, relational issues, attachment, and more.
As survivors, we may have questioned our healing journey and wondered if we would ever feel “normal”, ever feel empowered, or ever get our life back.

As survivors, we may have found that the people we love the most did not support us when we finally broke our silence of abuse and began our healing journeys. This may have been so devastating that we questioned our worth, minds, or will to survive. How do we find worth in ourselves when it appears those we thought would be our biggest heroes only fastened the rope of despair tighter around our throats?
As survivors we may have tried to drink ourselves into oblivion, drugged ourselves to numb the pain, tried to kill ourselves, or spent years in isolation.

Somewhere in all of this, we managed to survive, put one foot in front of the other, and kept on going even with the screaming in our minds that said, “ I can’t do this anymore!”

The healing journey is messy, painful, and many times lonely. We may feel that healing will never happen or that we will not survive the process. We may not see our progress or feel things are moving fast enough.
Healing takes time, perseverance, a learning of ourselves, and a de-shedding of all the lies we took in as a result of the abuse. The lies that told us we weren't good enough, we were damaged goods, not worthy, better off dead and hopeless.
Healing can come in glimpses. It begins as a very small speckle of light in a very dark place.

As we go through this process of healing with love and support that light will begin to grow and spread.
In healing, we will begin to connect to that little one inside that we may have avoided for so long. This little one that had no one, needed shelter and protection. This little one that just needed to be seen and heard.

As we begin to hold this little one in love rather than judgment we begin to understand that this little one was not at fault. Our thinking may become more clear and we begin to shed the shame and blame that we have carried for so long. By accepting this little one we begin to accept ourselves and care for ourselves as we deserved all along. We begin to honor ourselves, see our worth, and be our own true heroes.

If you are a survivor things do get better. This may not feel true now but in time it will. You will never forget all that was done to you but the wounds will begin to heal. Right now just allow yourself the grace you deserve, allow yourself to rest, allow yourself forgiveness, and allow yourself to take as long as you need to heal and when you feel like you are in the deepest part of hell, keep going.
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Elizabeth
Founder of EmpowerSurvivors
www.EmpowerSurvivors.net